ic contact

[dawnwillcome]

Leave me a message if something has happened that I should know about.

If this is about saving the world, press 1.
If something needs to be done about Dorian, please press 2.

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Comments

voice

[serves]

No, no. I was just hoping I could ask you to spend some time with Elize, today. I'd promised her I would, but I'm--it's not a good day. [No use dancing around it. He could cover it up easily when busy with paperwork and troops, but one on one with an observant child? Not so much.]

She mentioned she'd met you, before.

voice

[dawnwillcome]

Cullen...

[If this had been building, he'd hid it well. She hadn't known things were getting bad for him, and certainly not this bad.]

Of course I'll look after her, but what about you? Do you have anyone looking after you?

voice

[serves]

Thank you. [He still feels miserable about having to cancel plans with Elize. He looks forward to spending time with her, but it's best she not know about this.]

I'll have her go to your ship. [She'll like the plants.]

It's not necessary. I've dealt with this on my own before. It passes.

voice

[dawnwillcome]

No, I'll go to her ship myself after I've come to see you. Just because you have dealt with this before doesn't mean you should be alone.

voice

[serves]

It's fine. Please.

[He sounds about fifteen years older than he is.]

Go to Elize.

voice

[dawnwillcome]

[That he says please like that throws her and in that moment, just like that, Jove is less sure of herself and where she stands with Cullen than she ever has been before. She's silent for a long time before she finally answers.]

Very well. If you're certain.

voice

[serves]

I can't... [Maker, he hates how his mouth goes dry and his stomach wants to upheave itself.] I don't want her to worry. I told her I had to help with repairs. She doesn't need to know about--this.

[He sighs, shakily. Everything is tainted by a choice he made, the one to take lyrium.]

I just need some time.

voice

[dawnwillcome]

[Speaking using just the voice function of these communicators has never been Jove's first choice, but she's glad for it now. She wouldn't want Cullen to see her face while he says all this.

He still looks at his struggle with lyrium as though it's something to be ashamed of when it's the exact opposite. He should be proud of his strength, but instead he only sees weakness and he won't even let her try to help him.]

I understand. [She doesn't.] I'll see to it she's well cared for. She's a sweet girl.

voice

[serves]

She is. I hate doing this to her.

[Now, how to voice this next part.]

Later, if I'm--if it's not too much trouble, may I come see you?

[He's sure he'll be fine, later.]

[dawnwillcome]

I'm sure she would have understood if you had told her you were sick.

[And it would have been better than making it seem as though he were letting her down in favor of spending his time doing something else, even if he had used repairs as his explanation. Elize is still a child and disappointment is disappointment no matter what reasons are given to justify it.]

Are you sure that's wise?

[serves]

I didn't want her to try to come and take care of me.

[If he's miserable when Jove offers, imagine how it'd be with a child.]

Or--if you'd like to come here. I do want to see you, just... not like this.

[dawnwillcome]

The people who care about you won't think any less of you when you aren't at your best, Cullen. We think you're stronger for being able to bear what you do. [She pauses there.] I think you're stronger.

And I was going to come after taking her back home with or without your invitation, so I suppose you'll know I'm coming this way.

[serves]

I don't feel stronger.

[He just feels sick.]

Take care, Jove.

[dawnwillcome]

Try to get some rest. I'll let you know I'm on my way after I drop her off.

[serves]

Thank you.

[Now to try and not vomit all over his cot.]

[dawnwillcome]

[After leave Elize safely at home on her ship, Jove does exactly as she had promised and sends Cullen a quick text message before heading over to his ship. On Mor she had done her fair share of gardening, but that hadn't been the only thing she'd made sure to collect. When she arrives at Cullen's door she has with her a very mild broth made from dried meat still left over from the trip to Mor, certain it's unlikely he's had anything to eat today and wanting to be sure if he does try, it'll be something he's used to, something other than the strange rations they have in space.

A little familiarity when one is feeling terrible seems like it would be soothing, is all. She knocks lightly just in case he's sleeping and missed her message, not wanting to wake him if she can avoid it.]

[serves]

[Sleep doesn't come easily, especailly so when it's a bad day. He sweats, he shivers, but eventually his body gives up and he falls into a fitful sleep. He sleeps through the text and through the knocking.

The door leading to the ladder is unlocked, however, as he knew she'd be coming by. There's a loose linen shirt on the floor, thrown off when it was far too stifling. He's face down on the cot, hair no longer smoothy pushed back.

It's been a long day.]

[dawnwillcome]

[When there's no answer Jove tries the door, lets herself in and silently makes her way into his room. She leaves the broth on his desk and scoops up the shirt, folds it and leaves it on a chair when she doesn't immediately see where he keeps his dirty clothes. It must have been bad this time if he hadn't woken at all, if he was exhausted enough to sleep through all this, and Jove very nearly sees herself out to let him rest.

She will, she decides, but first she steps silently over to him and reaches down to brush her fingers through his hair, carefully pushing it off his forehead. She doesn't expect that to wake him when she hasn't already, after all.]

[serves]

[But of course it does. Her cool fingers through his hair, damp from sweat, rouses him from his sleep. He looks startled, for a moment, and then rolls onto his side.]

I'm sorry, I didn't hear you--[His voice is thick from the few hours of sleep he's managed.]

How's Elize?

[Priorities.]

[dawnwillcome]

[Well shit. With a sigh, Jove sits on the edge of his bed.]

She's just fine, if a little sad she wasn't able to see you. I'm sorry I woke you, I had intended to go, but...

[But she had to stop and touch him first? No, she'll just trail off there and not finish that sentence.]

[serves]

[He rolls onto his back. He doesn't mind that she woke him up, though he takes a moment to rub the sleep out his eyes with one hand. The other reaches for Jove's knee.]

I'm sorry.

[dawnwillcome]

[She covers his hand with hers and gives it a gentle squeeze.]

Stop doing that.

[serves]

[He sighs.]

I owe Elize the bigger apology.

[dawnwillcome]

You'll make it up to her when you're feeling better. I'll be sure to hold you to it, in fact.

[Another smile, trying to draw one out of him. Her poor Commander.]

[serves]

She wants to spend time with the both of us. Together.

[He smiles, but it's more of a self-deprecating one.]

I never thought I'd be hiding this from a child.