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[dawnwillcome]

Leave me a message if something has happened that I should know about.

If this is about saving the world, press 1.
If something needs to be done about Dorian, please press 2.

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[dawnwillcome]

[What she had expected was a friendly hug, at most. After so much happening, the thing with Anders and Stephanie unloading so much on poor Cullen his first, what, hour there? She had been intending to offer him a hug in the same way she had with Anders, because it really was too much all at once.

Cullen taking the initiative to pull her to him is a surprise, but it's nothing compared to what she sees in his eyes as he leans down to her. He intends to kiss her, and the shock of it has her staring a bit as her brain tries to work out what in the name of-

Creators, she doesn't even know which god to call on. Nothing makes sense anymore. She gets her hands up to his chest just as their lips brush, holding him so it doesn't go farther but not pushing him away. She doesn't think she has it in her to push him away.]

Cullen?

[serves]

I--forgive me. I've missed you.

[There's a crease in his brow, his confusion plain on his face. When did she ever stop him from kissing her? Maybe the whole thing with Anders truly upset her. So, he pulls his hands away from her and rubs at the back of his neck.]

[dawnwillcome]

No, it's- it's fine.

[What.]

You just surprised me. I didn't expect...

[For him to grab her and kiss her, seemingly out of nowhere?]

[serves]

Expect what? [He asks her, softly. Why wouldn't he kiss her?]

[dawnwillcome]

[She's seen this side to him, of course. Sweet and attentive, the kind of man she would have no problems kissing, but they hadn't gotten to that point yet. They had danced together at the Winter Palace, yes, and there had been... well, a lot of flirting if she's honest, but kissing?

They hadn't made it quite to that point yet. But to him, they... obviously had, and what does she do with that?]

For you to kiss me. [It's better to be honest, isn't it? That's what she had told Dorian, when his mess with Arhen started.] Do you remember when I told you there were a lot of timelines getting all mixed together here?

[serves]

What are you saying?

[His posture is already stiffening, boot sliding back a fraction of an inch to give her space.

It's not hard to put two and two together.]

[dawnwillcome]

[Instinctively her hand grabs onto his arm, stopping him from going any farther. It doesn't sit right, letting this happen like this, like it was a rejection when it was impossible to reject a thing that, as far as she was aware, had never happened.]

I'm saying I hadn't- I was alone, before I came here. There was something between us, but we hadn't... done that, yet.

[serves]

[He's overstepped, and he's ready to stand with a respectable distance between them, but she stops him with a single touch. That, on top of everything else, has him feeling unbalanced and at a loss.]

I'm sorry. I didn't--

[He can't mask the hurt. The woman he loves doesn't--hadn't ever--

Why was this happening?]

[dawnwillcome]

[She almost wishes she had pretended, when he looks at her like that. Let him kiss her and pretended it was what she remembered, what she had chosen for herself instead of forcing herself to be on her own until the Inquisition had succeeded. There was no guarantee she would live, and it had seemed selfish to let anything go beyond playful flirting.

But it would be a lie to say it hadn't gone deeper than that, that she hadn't considered... It doesn't matter now, in this moment when he looks so heartbroken.]

I know, and you haven't done anything wrong. [That seems important to say, and she squeezes his arm lightly to try to get it to sink in, to register completely.] We were certainly on our way to that point, I just haven't quite made it there yet.

[She shouldn't be saying the word yet because this is all moving too fast, but it slips itself in there like it belongs. She doesn't want to take it back.]

[serves]

[Cullen literally has no idea what to do. He stands there, dumbstruck, trying to figure out the right reaction--ultimately, he settles on gently placing his hand over hers.]

It's all right. I don't... please don't think I expect anything. That's not fair to you.

[dawnwillcome]

I would never think that of you.

[She turns her hand to grip his, holding it tightly like that's some kind of comfort for what she's just done to him.]

I've always thought highly of you and I've always been fond of you, I don't think there's a thing that could ever change that and I need you to know that.

[It doesn't feel like enough, not nearly enough, but it's just about all she has right now that's honest.]

[serves]

[He musters up a faint smile, for her sake. She shouldn't worry. Not about him.]

Thank you, Jove.

[dawnwillcome]

[But she does worry about him, and this will only make her worry about him more. Not because she thinks he's not strong enough to handle something like this after everything else he's overcome, but because it's so unfair that this is playing out so poorly.]

This won't- I don't want this to ruin anything between us, Cullen. I just need time.

[Time for what, she isn't sure, but there are so many questions forming in her head already. Questions about how deeply they went, if it was just a dalliance, but she it couldn't be that, not with him. Not with how upset he looked when she stopped him from kissing her.

She shouldn't ask, but it slips out before she can stop herself.]

How long were we...

[serves]

[Time he can certainly give. Had she not pulled him aside that one day to address what was between them, it'd be likely he'd never make a move. Never kiss her to begin with.

Though now, the thought of not having her makes his chest ache. He can't imagine not being by her side.]

What do you last remember?

[dawnwillcome]

When I arrived here, I had just finished at the Temple of Mythal. There was an eluvian and I jumped through it and ended up here.

[Her thumb is absently stroking the back of his hand as she speaks, but she isn't sure if that's what he meant. If he meant what does she remember there being between them.]

At the Winter Palace I asked you to dance.

[serves]

[That all gets a tilt of his head in confusion.]

Temple of Mythal? That's unfamiliar to me. [No eluvians that he knows of, either.] And at the Winter Palace, I asked you to dance. Well--that is, you asked earlier in the night. But we danced, out on the balcony.

You don't remember that?

[Of course not, if they hadn't even kissed.]

[dawnwillcome]

[She laughs, weakly, because of course she's still the only one who knows about the Well. The voices are quieter here, only speaking up on rare occasions and only ever as whispers she can easily ignore. Still, it would be nice to know someone to talk to about the temple. So much had happened, and-

That isn't the point. Focus on Cullen.]

That's our next move, the Temple. We'll face Samson there.

[And of course she remembers the balcony. That was the first time she'd opened up about how exhausting the night was, how exhausting being the Inquisitor was, and he had put his hand on her back and asked her to dance with him.]

You turned me down when I first asked, but we did end up dancing. You were better at it than you let on.

[serves]

[Mention of Samson gets his mouth to twist into a frown. He knew it would come to that, eventually. He wants to ask about it--it's clear on his face--but he refrains. Maybe he shouldn't.]

Did we go to Ferelden together?

[He asks intead, quietly. Would he have asked her if they hadn't been serious? He can't say with any certainty.]

[dawnwillcome]

[She can't leave him hanging when it comes to Samson, so she raises her other hand, the one that isn't still holding him, and rests that on his other arm. It's possible she shouldn't be touching him so much, but, well. She is.]

Dagna's work paid off and we stopped him. I imagine he'll be waiting to be judged at Skyhold when I return.

[Ferelden? She searches his face for why that's an important question, but she can't make sense of it.]

No, we didn't. What's in Ferelden?

[serves]

It's good to hear. [It would be no great loss if the man fell in battle, but it's even better that he would be judged for his crimes, for what suffering he's inflicted.

At her question, he smiles and shakes his head.]

It's nothing important.

[dawnwillcome]

[She doesn't believe that, but she won't push for the truth. Things between them still feel salvageable, he'd called her Jove again instead of Inquisitor, she doesn't want to lose that by pushing for more information not matter how desperately she wants to know more.

He's smiling. She wants to keep him that way.]

I'm sorry if this is terribly awkward, Cullen, but-

[She lets go of him now, finally, but it's only so she can reach up to him, wrap her arms around his neck and hug him as tightly as she can. She has to balance on the tips of her toes because he's far too tall, but there was really no question about this.]

I have to. I'm so sorry.

[serves]

[The hug surprised him, but Maker help him, he's needed one. One just like this, ever since he got here. Cullen hesitates only for a moment before wrapping his arms around her. She fits against him in such a familiar way that it's almost incomprehensible that she doesn't know. Isn't from the same time.

He leans down a little, as he always has, so that she doesn't have to balance on her toes. Cullen's eyes slip shut as he memorizes the feeling of her in his arms for the hundredth time.]

I think I can forgive you.

[dawnwillcome]

[From Jove's perspective, this is the first time she's hugged him like this. They've been this close before, but it was when he had caught her as she'd dropped into the snow after a mountain had fallen on her. She'd walked for what seemed like hours before she'd seen the camp and Cullen had been there, warm and strong and safe when she had been sure she was going to die.

He'd caught her and lifted her up like she weighed nothing, carried her to the camp and let her cling to him for warmth as he trudged through snow that had been up to her knees. She must have been in love with him if he could kiss her so easily, if she had let things go so far. She feels like she's about to cry, but when she laughs in response to what he's just said she's glad it doesn't sound as distraught as she feels.

This is horrible, and her arms tighten around him a little more.]

Good. That's all I can ask for.

[serves]

[Her frame is so small. He could lift her with one arm, if he wanted, and it's tempting right now to just lift her up and hold her close until this all blows over. But that's unlikely.

He's not sure if it's time to pull away. He'll let her decide that.]

It'll be all right. Regardless of--this, of timelines, if you need anything, all you need to do is ask.

[She's still his Inquisitor.]

[dawnwillcome]

[Just a little longer. Like it will fix anything if she presses her face into his shoulder and close her eyes and pretend she's what he wanted her to be. What he could very well need her to be.

She counts to ten, very slowly, and then starts to lean away from him.]

You know that goes for you as well. Doubly so, since I've been in this place longer. Anything at all that you might need, I can help with it.