ic contact

[dawnwillcome]

Leave me a message if something has happened that I should know about.

If this is about saving the world, press 1.
If something needs to be done about Dorian, please press 2.

text | video | voice | action

Comments

Voice

[wolfuncaged]

[He doesn't use the video, for a change. He doesn't trust his ability to keep a neutral expression. Since learning about Hawke, a rather vital part of his world has collapsed in on itself, and quite frankly he's not been handling it well.

It's easy to slip into his old coping habits. Avoiding people, as if he weren't there at all, drinking himself to sleep at night. It's about as far removed as 'healthy' as one can get, but he does it all the same. He's not here to talk about that, though. He doesn't think he could talk about that to anyone, even if Hawke wanted him to.

He could so easily self destruct. Peel away all the layers he's built for himself, in trying to give himself a better life. A reason to keep going. It would be the easiest thing in the world. But it would also be selfish, and he can't bring himself to do it. People care about him, for their own (and in his opinion; insane) reasons and it would do them a disservice to fall back on old habits.

He's supposed to be getting better. ]

I was spiteful and angry to you, and I owe you an apology. I did not...explain myself well.

[He sounds tired. But he needs to do this. She's a friend, and now he is only too aware how fragile such a thing is.]

[dawnwillcome]

[She didn't expect this, if she's honest. She anticipated that either they would act as though their disagreement never happened, or more likely that she wouldn't get a friendly exchange from Fenris ever again. Toleration because of her relationship with Dorian, perhaps, but the friendship they had built? She couldn't be sure if that survived Cole's arrival.

There's something more to this, she can hear it in Fenris' tone, but maybe they'll get there later. She hopes they will, because her opinion of Fenris hasn't changed a bit.]

I understand where you were coming from, Fenris. I don't know that there was a good way for that conversation to go.

[Relief to hear his voice, acceptance and forgiveness, the unashamed warmth in her tone, that's all there is. Nothing spiteful, nothing judgmental. She's just glad he's still with her.]

[wolfuncaged]

[He didn't expect the forgiveness in her tone, and it tugs at his heart a little. He doesn't deserve it, especially considering he can't offer her what she wants from him. He can't accept the spirit, consider it a person, it's too dangerous a thing for him to try. He's learned to deal with magic far better than he used to, but this is still a step too far.]

I am sorry I cannot offer you a peaceful resolution to the matter. I can only offer to keep my distance. I understand it isn't what you want but I just... can't.

[Quite frankly, he's terrified of Cole. Of what potential the spirit carries within him, which in Fenris' experiences have only ever turned out badly. He fears for himself, he fears for those around him.]

[dawnwillcome]

I know, Fenris. I'm sorry you got caught in this. He was there to see Solas, I don't think he even knew you were there as well.

[It doesn't make it better, but maybe it helps to know that Cole hadn't been specifically seeking him out. Maybe, she can't be sure, and even if it is a comfort it's likely a small one, a drop in the barrel. One mistake won't make the damage this has caused any easier to bear, for any of them.]

He's insistent he'll never go back, though. I... thank you for contacting me, Fenris. Are you alright?

[wolfuncaged]

Yes. I was made aware.

[The spirit said so itself. It certainly didn't make him feel any better. He hadn't slept properly after that. ]

I felt I needed to apologise, all the same. My anger was not directed at you. I know you wouldn't try to manipulate me, I spoke before I thought. I am told it happens regularly.

I'm...fine. [He's not fine. At all. ]

[dawnwillcome]

[She can guess that, too. Where is the boundary now, though? Is she allowed to ask him to meet her for drinks? Is she allowed to insist he open up to her, to let her try to share his burden? Does he even do that? Is it even her place?

Really, in the end, none of these questions matter. There's only one thing to do.]

Would you mind if I came to see you?

LOLA DON'T PRESS ENTER I'M NOT DONE

[wolfuncaged]

[Sharing his burdens really aren't a thing Fenris tends to do. Not unless he gets spectacularly drunk first. There's a pause, a sigh.]

I would like that.

SHE JUST HAS A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT THIS THREAD OKAY

[dawnwillcome]

[Just him agreeing would have been enough, and it's a big step for Fenris, so he gets the credit he's due where Jove is concerned.]

Alright, good. And since I'm visiting, do you ever get sick the way Dorian does during space travel? I can bring some herbs you can make into a tea to ease that, if it ever happens to you.

GOSH GOSH

[wolfuncaged]

[This isn't what he completely wants. He wants to self destruct. But he knows he can't do it, so he will have to just...pretend he is okay. He's probably going to fail terribly at it. ]

No, I have no such problems. Thank you all the same.

[dawnwillcome]

You've got to stop thanking me for being decent, Fenris. You're going to give me a complex.

I'll be there soon, though.

[And she considers bringing wine, but decides against it in the end. He didn't sound right while they were speaking and if he's got some sort of drinking problem, it's not the kind of thing she wants to contribute to..

But she shows up on his ship soon enough, knocking on his door and just in case, she calls out to him so he'll know it's just her.]

I'm here, Fenris. Are you in there still?

[wolfuncaged]

[Contributing to his drinking problem really wouldn't be the wisest thing to do right now. He's doing well enough in that respect alone. He'll open the door to his armory, he can't quite manage a smile, but he steps aside for her to enter. ]

Hello, Jove.

[dawnwillcome]

[She has a smile for him, though, as she usually does.]

Hello Fenris.

[And she waits until she's inside, until the door has closed behind them and they're as alone as they can possibly be in a place that watches them at every moment, before asking the most important question.]

How are you doing?

[wolfuncaged]

[He'll just fold his arms, in an attempt to create a measure of calm that never really exists within him.]

You have asked me this.

[Evasion? Definitely. ]